HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
wah tanda ka na bhe… kidding… 21 ka lang diba?!
I wasn’t the only one who was excited to take a picture from new phone way back when. I was glad that he was also excited with me. Some superstition said that if couples take pictures of themselves, they will end up breaking up in the future. Oh well, he’s not my boyfriend so it doesn’t really matter, ayt. Here’s the result of our first picture ever together…
It turned out alright. He he he he he… But the next pictures were awful. Oh no! I’m not going to post them here.
Taken after I had that haircut…
My hair was a mess the day after I had it cut…
And update it has gotten so unruly that I have to ponytail it everyday to keep every strand in place…
Harharharharhar
I’ve been surfing the net for the lack of better people to talk to and I happen to find a friend’s website with someone singing in it and they were just two regular girls. In one of their you tube favorite site was a pretty singer who sang well. I created an account and subscribed to her. I never thought that she is a big you tube star until I got to watch all her videos. I don’t know how I found Ashley Tisdale on youtube but I subscribed to her too.
Then one day my friend (who’s actually an ex-boyfriend) told me about Happy Slip. I searched her in youtube and I had the time of my life watching her videos. I subscribed to her immediately after watching all her videos in one go! He he he he he he. I liked “boypren” a lot that I subscribed to KevJumba, who I later found out was even a more big youtube star than HappySlip. And of course I love the “Save Me” song by Josh Verdes. *sighs*
I’m officially youtubed!!! *hooked for life* he he he he
Be patient, I’m hard to love. I am broken. I ask too many questions and I’m overly sensitive. I think a lot, rationalize almost everything. When you find me, I hope for your sake I’m whole again so you don’t need to piece me together. I’m stubborn you see but I know you’d learn how to please me. But I also wish that I’d be too broken when you find me that see how much you love me and see myself come together because of your love.
“The one that you love or the one who loves you?” is a derivative of heart versus mind now that I come to think about it. It got me thinking because a good friend of mine, who bought me a Starbucks’ Frap a while ago (Thank you! Bawi na lang ako next time! Wink!), was telling me about the debate he had with officemates while they were drinking after work today. Question is which side am I in?
I do promote that we should think with our minds and feel with our hearts. In practice, I’m trying so hard to follow what I preach. I’m still at the trying part. Back then I never really thought about it at all. I was so caught up and just let my heart dictate my action. I’m not saying that one should stop oneself from feeling what she/he feels. Allow yourself to feel. Be angry when you’re angry. No one should dictate what you should feel. But you must entail a great of thinking when you act on the things you do. Since we are rational beings we can discern what we should and shouldn’t do and think about its consequences. We are not a being who acts on impulse because if you do then what do we have our brain for. We have brains think!
Sad thing though, even if we know the consequences of our actions we still go ahead on doing things we know which are futile like trying to maintain a certain relationship (not romantic of course) with someone who we love dearly who is unfortunately very much in love with someone else (your friend even) when this person (the one who you unfortunately love) is taking you for granted, hurting you, insensitive and dishonest (Drama! ha ha ha ha). Anyways, I have a good head over my shoulders and I never want anyone giving me CRAP! (Wah galit na!) I don’t deserve it and I won’t ever tolerate it. (Sheesh! I was even determined to sue the school who gave us crap! He he he he he). I tell you people never take crap from anyone. Say OUCH when it hurts. Say STOP when you had enough.
December 24, 2006… I missed my bus! I would’ve gone ballistically mad at the people in the Station because it’s Christmas and I’m not home. I even called them to make sure that the bus won’t leave without me instead they gave my seat to someone else! How convenient!
There was no more buses going home. *sighs* I had to spend Christmas here in Manila away from my immediate family. Mom called and she was furious and my Dad was more furious! I wish I could only fly home! But I couldn’t, thus, I just made do with what I have.
Good thing my aunt (mom’s sister) opted to celebrate Christmas with her family here in Manila and they just live next door. I gave my little contribution to the noche buena they were preparing and helped out a bit. And so I still ate a sumptuous meal even if I was not home.
I’m going home today. Who knows what kind of talk I will receive when I get back. But I sure will celebrate New Year there.
Everyone comments, I’m too drama. And it has come to a point where I’m quite irritated by it. I don’t think it’s drama when I say what I feel and what I think. I wish I was unfeeling. I’m hurt everytime one of my friends say I’m madrama when I confide to them. It’s as if they’re saying what I’m feeling isn’t valid. That hurts terribly.
To think, I confirmed from one of my closest friends that she things I’m indifferent to things happening to her. That hurts as well, knowing that I do care. When a friend thinks you’re indifferent it’s like she’s thinking you weren’t acting like a friend should. Not doing what a friend should do when another friend is in need. I know it’s different being there, being actually there. But being physically there is just a manifestation of being there. And I was.
I’m madrama and I’m indifferent. Ironic.
I wish I really don’t give a damn.
stop
time
think
breathe
live
succeed
alone
anew
Time stopped and then slowed down and ticked and ticked and then it ticked faster rumbling rumbling so fast I couldn’t distinguish one tick from another. Tick tock tick tock. Time’s too fast I cannot follow. I’m running too fast or I’m running too slow. I never am on time. I’m too early or too late.
My Divisoria escapade with Mom was quite exhilirating because we breezed through shopping lots of stuff and it took us only 3 hours. We had good finds as well.
November 2, 2006. SM Manila —> TUP —> SM Manila —> Greenbelt Starbucks —> Greenbelt Powerbooks —> Home. I was a splurge that day. I bought lots of stuff like WITCH issue 52 and 53, book charm, cool clip, planner, etc. But my craving for Starbucks was quite satisfied and I even tried (stress on tried) to flirt with someone. It turned out I’m no good at flirting and I just kept gushing and I couldn’t even make eye contact.
The Breakable Promise. Friday night, Keech said he should’ve come but I didn’t textback and so he didn’t. Mckee and I was having a really bad fight over YM. But we ended up being friends still. Keech told me he’d just see me Saturday night. Saturday afternoon before six pm he texted “I’ll be there 11pm, See you later.” I waited and waited and there was no Keech. Sunday, I tried contacting people who knew him which are two exes, Joanne and Princess. Anyways, I tried talking to them but the former answered “I’m not his secretary.” The latter texted my friend whom I asked to contact her the following day. Monday, I called up Keech at work and to my relief he was there, but what surprised me is his reaction about me contacting his exes.
He said, “Bakit mo kinokontact LAHAT ng kakilala ko. Pati si Finn kinontact mo. Naiinis na sila sa akin.” in a very authoritative voice.
How dare him! How dare him get mad at me for doing what I did. I was willing to let go of him breaking his promise for the Nth time. I was willing to let go of him not calling to say he wasn’t coming over. But I don’t want that kind of tone he used and the accusatory statement.
I didn’t do anything wrong!!!
I was worried sick. I waited until 4am. I called his phone every now and then from Saturday night to Sunday evening. I even tried looking for his friends online and contacted his exes just to ask for info where I can call and check for his whereabouts or probably inform them that he is missing.
I ain’t to blame!
I’m tired of understanding you… I’m so tired… This angel has officially clipped her wings.
